"Delilah answers all your questions about sex@Midnight ET!"

[Actual AOL welcome-screen message.]

I caught onto their sinister scheme when they ran that picture of the Statue of Liberty, under the caption "Right now, she's listening to Pearl Jam". (8/29/96)

Don't you see what's going on? Actual AOL welcome screen messages...

"Great sex. Fast fitness. Fabulous food. Come alive @ thrive!"

"Lonely? Bored? Make new friends in Hobby Central!"

"When was the last time you were pinned to the mat?"

Oh sure, they play dum...

"Meet actress Florence Henderson..."

"Free Sunrise Aromatherapy Collection with a $30 purchase at Avon."

But soon you see their sinister scheme...

"Perk up your java-drinking loved ones. The Coffee Collection from Hallmark."

Is nothing sacred?! Read between the lines, you fools! Don't you see the latent Satanism behind it all?

"Thousands of teens weigh in on the gender gap"

"Learn your future with our tarot reader."

Each message is a postcard from Big Brother...

"Toddler tantrums, teen angst, too little time: Parent Soup is listening."

"Be one of the first to earn free online time in Reward Town!"

Later messages seem to be coming from a post-AOL world

"Parental Guidance: the next generation of controls are here!"

"Join Chris and Sue NOW in the Digital City San Francisco Chat Room!"

"If you're a Bay Area realtor, you NEED to meet Ron Capp."

Then, when I went back to continue my research, they told me "Your account is signed on. If an interrupted session occurred, try again. If problems continue, call 1-800-827-3338"

The next time I went to sign-on, the welcome message was...

Conspiracies, crimes and coverups: Can't believe it happened? Are you sure?

Life on AOL - Part I
Life on AOL - Part II
Sneak Preview: Part III
Life on AOL - Part IV
Life on AOL - Part V
Life on AOL - Part VI
Life on AOL - Part VII
Life on AOL - Part VIII
Life on AOL - Part IX
Life on AOL - Part X

Life on AOL - Part XII
Life on AOL - Part XIII
Life on AOL - Part XIV
Life on AOL - Part XV
Life on AOL - Part XVI
Life on AOL - Part XVII

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