AOL Watch has obtained a rare document. The final scene of the movie "You've Got Mail" -- as written by an actual AOL subscriber.
"I'm so glad we finally get to meet each other, and...." [Suddenly, the phone rings....] Er, excuse me. Hello?"
"Hello, sir or madam. This is America Online! How would you like to receive an AOL Visa card at the low annual rate of 12% APR for the next six months."
"No. Listen, I'm kind of in the middle of an important conversation right now..."
"I'll just go ahead and sign you up. Thanks for your time!"
"Wait! I... Dammit, they hung up."
"Anyways, it's about time you showed up."
"Didn't you get my e-mail about meeting earlier?"
"No! It took me half an hour just to log on."
"And then the system kept downloading art. I spent the last ten minutes looking at an hour-glass, and... [Phone rings.] Er, excuse me."
"Hello, sir or madam. AOL has authorized me to switch your long-distance carrier to Tel-Save and give you this lovely gasoline receptacle as a special premium."
"Er, no thanks. Look, I'm kinda in the middle of something here... [Hangs up.]"
"But you saw my e-mail?"
"No. I must've missed it in all the pornography spams."
"Too bad our on-line service doesn't have better mail filters."
"Yeah. That's why I'm so late. I was trying to get my e-mail, but there were a bunch of pop-up ads for books."
"And credit cards."
"And an anti-virus program."
"Oh yeah. I saw that one too."
"And when I signed off, they wanted to show me what was on CBS tonight, and...."
"OKAY! I get the point..."
"[Pause.] AOL really sucks, doesn't it."