"The equipment in ventriloquist dummies is alot like the prototype of the
artificial heart I designed."
That's the gist of just one amazing facet in the life of ventriloquist Paul
Winchell -- who, yes, designed the first prototype for an artificial
He was also the voice of Tigger.
"You're a swell dish. I think I'm gonna go for you."
Yes, Turner Classic Movies has released
[Movie] Pick-up Lines."
Laugh along while a reporter for the Las Vegas Review Journal
"When you get your fill of marriage, I'll be waiting for
Attention, aspiring mystery writers.
Elmore Leonard offers his 10
rules for writers.
#1. "Never open a book with weather...."
Destiny-land shuddered in the rain-slicked alley....
The author of "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" is threatening
Why? Because the blogger questioned the legitimacy of
the author's PhD
-- which does appear to have come from a non-accredited college in
California in the early
I wonder what planet his lawyer is from?
The Associated Press reports from Courtney Love's
At another point she said to her attorney, "You're fired."
"Miss Love, you're not doing yourself any favors," Superior Court Judge
Elden Fox said.
"Rehired," Love said.
My friend Laura describes watching The Matrix on TNT...
"I particularly enjoyed the dubbing of swear words with such popular
epithets as "Just do what I say, copperhead!" or Keanu saying, "Oh
shucks!" when he looks down from the ledge and realizes he can't climb
onto the scaffolding."
Disney consumer products have
discontinued a 700-pound statue of Mickey
as Janet Jackson. (Click the link for a picture...)
Wait a minute -- Mickey Mouse is a cross-dresser?!
The Passion of Christ
-- as envisioned by humorists at The Morning News.
Meanwhile, Suckful.net awaits the sequel --
2 Christ 2
Link found at Andy's Waxy.org
drama unfolded during the half-time show of an NBA basketball
game. The Washington Wizards were playing the Indiana Pacers, and the
halftime entertainment included a woman blindfolded, trying to tag a
mascot to win a free pair of game tickets. But when she took off the
blindfold, there was a man with an engagement ring, down on one
knee. "Will you marry me?" he asked.
The woman covers her face with her
hands, then runs off the court.....
"Woman says 'I don't' at NBA Game," read the headline.
It's such a compelling video.
I was sorry -- but relieved -- when the NBA announced
the episode was
just a stunt. No fragile male egos were harmed during the making of
this halftime show...
moment from rock-and-roll history...
"The Sunrays were mostly just another surf pop syrup band, made to sound
as much like the Beach Boys as Murry Wilson could make them during his I hate
my sons and they hate me period...."
The Beach Boys wrote a song about: Salt Lake
It's not clear why. They single out the city for having
"the grooviest kids," a radio station, and a park near the city.
My friend Laura noticed the song contains a lyric that's
bafflingly bad. I'll consecrate it here as a free-form poem.
The way the kids talk
"Screw the Beach Boys' version..." wrote one alt-weekly.
"[Utah punk band] Thunderfist penned the ultimate two-minute tribute to
the city by the
lake -- and they did it under the influence of our mere 3.2 Pabst, to
is an out-of-sight
Check out the kitschy
hotel rooms at California's Madonna Inn.
My favorite is The
Caveman Room. And The Buffalo Room. The
Yahoo room even has
And wagon wheels on the bed...
This speaks for itself...
"I SAW JANET JACKSON'S BOOB' T-SHIRTS SOLD HERE!"
They're only thirteen dollars....
The Beach Boys song "The Warmth of the Sun" has an unusual history.
It was written by Brian Wilson the day in 1963 when President Kennedy
What good is the dawn
That grows into day,
The sunset at night
Or living this way...
Still I have the warmth of the sun
Within me at night....
Howard Dean finally clarifies his position...
The actor who played Billy Jack is running
a Republican, against President Bush.
And he got 154 votes in the New
Link stolen from Skippy
the Bush kangaroo
"And you folks were worried about terrorists. Meet the real
enemy: Janet's Boob."
Sunday 140 million viewers watched as Justin Timberlake ripped off Janet
Jackson's breast plate.
capture the Super Bowl-shocker as the two singers performed their
show. And the world press was quick to react...
"Oooops! Janet Jackson flashes 140 million!" --WorldNet
"...the stage has been to set to produce an event that the Super Bowl
audience will remember for years to come," MTV's President announced last
"Janet hangs out with Justin"--Sydney Herald
"Sorry for the boob, says CBS." --Sydney
"Oh you nasty boy! Janet Jackson glares at Justin Timberlake..."
--(Sports Illustrated photo
If you're using Internet Explorer, you can view an enhanced version of
this web-log at the following URLs.
This experiment allows you to...hey! What's going
Crap. Now it's out
of focus. No, that's worse...
Okay, that's close.
Maybe if you whack
the monitor real hard....
Yet another cool link found on Waxy.org
Q: How many Oscar nominations did they give
Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill, Vol. I?
Tarantino's distributor worried Vol. I would compete with its
sequel -- Kill Bill Vol. 2 -- for Oscar nominations. So they
the release of the two movies to be four months apart -- but in
Turns out it was kind of unnecessary...
Meanwhile, the two sequels to The Matrix toughed it out, and
both movies were released in the same year. So...
Q: How many Oscar nominations did the two
Watch the just-released trailer for Kill Bill Vol. 2 here!
Nearly one-third of prime-time television is ads.
Fifty-two minutes out of three hours...
Torque, Roger Ebert remembers the review he wrote 37 years ago
for "Hells Angels on Wheels." (Starring Jack Nicholson.)
The big difference, says Ebert, is that the genre has changed. What were
in the 60s are now "A" pictures today.
notes that "the motorcycle chase in Torque had "approximately the same
level of reality as a Road Runner chase."
Someone searched Google for the words: seinfeld Elaine drinks alcohol
As the #1 match, Google returns the following...
"Inconsolable hatred. Kelp farms. Drinking pure alcohol from a beaker. Bad
stunts with a seal.... In one Seinfeld episode, Elaine developed
a crush... "
Yes, Destiny-land is Google's #1 match. Over a year ago I mentioned
Elaine's crush on video
store clerk Vincent. But elsewhere on the same page I described
Nemo from 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea...
Yes, I'm Goog-enheiming again.
"Guess where I'm going? I'm going to Mars! Please
don't ask me why... I'm confused!"
The all-red comic strip "Get Your War On" comments on
Julie is looking for a few good dates.
And she's not coming down until she gets them!
a woman on the scaffolding of a billboard. On a couch. And then made
her have six
To promote their online personal ads.
"Elvis brings the Big Beat to Bagdad!"
Amazingly, Elvis Presley goes to Iraq in his 1965 movie Harum
Lured by a desert temptress into an Arabian rumble!
Risking his neck for dames he never saw before!
And seconds later, he's singing them love songs!
It's the Arabian Nights a Go-Go!
These are all actual quotes from the movie's trailer...
It's crazy, man! One minute our hero's singing his way out of the pokey.
And the next he's swinging cool, as he invades the inner sanctums of love!
[The title card displays the words"Where the Slave-girls and Sultans
In your wildest nightmares, you've never imagined such goings on as
Elvis 'gets with it' in a rockin' rolling swinging spoof!
Amazingly, the movie opens with Elvis sitting next to an official from the
My friend Splicer writes a remarkably poignant
about the childhood significance of "Battlestar Galactica."
In the comments, someone mentions DVD Tracks.com, where you can
record your own commentary tracks!
Al Franken will host
a live, 3-hour radio show.
He told reporters he'll call Rush Limbaugh and ask him for advice.
"I'm interested in doing what I can to affect this election," Franken
said. "I've been thinking about what's the best use of my energies — I
hope this is it."
Ladies and gentlemen...
Thanks to Mat for the link.
A political blogger is bashing President Bush's plans for the
space program. Then he
remembering childhood-favorite TV shows set in outer space.
memories are lovingly documented with pictures,
and then a link to mp3s of the Space: 1999
theme. (Including one by Ennio Morricone!)
He points out that on
Space: 1999, stored nuclear materials blasted the moon -- and its
moon colony -- out of orbit.
The war in Iraq was a conquest for oil "dressed up as a
crusade for Western life and liberty..." by "a clique of war-hungry
Judeo-Christian geopolitical fantasists who hijacked the media and
exploited America's post-9/11 psychopathy."
Wait -- that's just a character in John Le Carre's new
spy novel, "Absolute Friends." The New York Times runs through
the highlights of Europe's perrenial criticism of America.
There's The Matrix -- and then there's...
My friend Mike found this on Cal Pundit.
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then
Inspirational words from a web site called Punx for Dean.
The quote is usually attributed to: Mohandis K. Gandhi.
Link borrowed from Mat's "sidebar
The long-awaited answers to my 2003
Ben Affleck, talking to the treacherous clone of his girlfriend.
Young Harvey Pekar, trick-or-treating as himself at the
Charlie's Angels II
Cameron Diaz, taunting Demi Moore at gunpoint, as Lucy Lui and Drew
Barrymore come to save her.
The New Republic's editor, realizing he's been snowed by Stephen
Agent Smith (Hugo Weaving) begins the final showdown with Neo (Keanu
Time for Destiny-land's Year in Review. All these quotes are
from movies I saw in 2003. Can you identify the movies?
"What's my favorite baseball team?"
"I ain't no superhero, lady. I'm just a kid from the
"I have something that you'll never have."*
"He handed us fiction after fiction. And we printed it as fact. Because
we found him entertaining. That is indefensible." *
"Mr. Anderson. Welcome back. We've missed you."
"It ends tonight."
On New Year's Day at the local multi-screen cinePlex, their
loudspeakers were playing...
The First Noel.
On January 1?
Shouldn't that be the last
"Man, this music sucks."
Watching Mystic River, I was appalled by the music. Pointless
single notes on a synthesizer. Or, worse -- a synthesizer and
Who did director Clint Eastwood owe a favor to, I'm thinking
to myself? And then in the closing credits, I see the
Well, that explains it.
By the way, I left hating the movie, too -- specifically because of
its ending. It's ambiguity left me wondering
if this was another run through Clint Eastwood's whole "Sometimes murder
is okay" theme.
I love the kittens playing punk
rock video. Now their creator has a new music video -- two monkeys
"I bought the wrong bananas."
Apparently he's got his own TV show on Britain's Channel Four now. Other
experimental works include some
techno Nazi kittens and a
pair of hedgehogs
singing acapella a song
of cryptic anatomical vulgarities
"...wouldn't be nobody git up an' feed the
chickens! Hee-hee... ever'body jest lay in bed! Jest lay in bed
till they ready to git up! Sho', you take a man high on good gage,
he got no use for they ole bull-crap, 'cause he done see right through
there. Shoot, he lookin' right down into his ver' soul!"
ain't never heard nobody talk so dang crazy, C.K."
"Well, you young, boy -- you goin' hear plenty crazy talk 'fore you is a
Red-Dirt Marijuana and Other Tastes, 1967
Michael Lund, world champion skier. He won the ballet
freestyle competition in 1974.
Four years later, he disappeared, hiding from the federal
Wait, wait, I left out part of the story. The 37
tons of marijuana, worth $75 million, that he tried to ferry into the
His personal 61-foot boat was to be the key link in a 9-person smuggling
And then? Twenty-three
years pass. He drifts to Santa Barbara, and then Wyoming. He has two
children. He earns a pilot's license. He works at a motel....
two years ago there was a child support dispute. When he's fingerprinted
in court, he's arrested for the 1978 crime. Balding, graying,
nearsighted, he faces up to 15 years in prison.
Instead, the judge
sentences him to three. He'll be released sometime in 2004...